In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live, Make mistakes, Have wonderful memories, But never ever second guess who you are, Where you have been, And most importantly where it is your going.
It made me cry. The last few years have been full of changes, lessons, and learning.
I feel like our life is a road trip. Our maps are all different. On each of our maps we see our starting point, some focal points along the way, but my destination has not always been clear. On this life's road trip I have done many things I wish I had never done. On my road trip earlier in life I wish I would have been a better sister, daughter, friend. I wish I would have not been so lazy in school. I wish I would have never taken my time with my Grandparents, parents for granted. I wish I would not worried about what about everyone thought.
There are things that I replay over and over again in my head. . Sometimes I say if I had only known then what I know now. We all have thought that .. haven't we ?? We would have been nicer, tried harder, studied harder, sang more, laughed more, worked more, saved more. All the coulda, shoulda, wouldas =) We all have them.
I second guess myself less than I used to but still more than I should. Sometimes it is hard not to look back, to beat yourself up, to second guess our choices. Although I do struggle from time to time ...more with some things than others ...I am learning !! It is true. Those choices have gotten me to where I am today. I realize that I must live in the moment. The moments of the past have made me who I am. I make mistakes ...daily ...ask my family, close friends, and co-workers. We could let our mistakes pull us down and keep us there. But I am choosing not to. My mistakes do not make me who I am. My map is full of memories that are created each day. I have learned how to laugh. This goes along with worrying about what people think. I have learned to enjoy funny moments. I have a corny laugh. And it is loud. It really is...I know because I have a friend in particular who laughs all the time with me and this person says it is =). But you know what.... I am not worried about what people think .... so I laugh alot =) Most of my great memories come from times of laughter with my friends and family. And now that my bladder is fixed I will laugh even more with no worries !! Woot Woot
I have so much to learn, live, experience !! I do not want to look back in 20 years and have any couldas, shouldas, wouldas like the first part of my road trip. My road trip in life is a one way trip with no roadblocks....just some little detours that keep me on my toes, exploring new things like a child does, making new memories and learning. Not every road I take is smooth. I have the hills that require an extra push, the bumpy road that requires me to hold on and push on through, the curvy road that makes my stomach ache. All of those roads lead me to my destination and being who I am and want to continue being. As I look back at my map I want to say.... Wow !! Look at the road trip you made to get to where you are. What a ride =)
